The Nature of Love

"The love we seek is the love long lost, whether deep within or thin without, we all seek that which we do not have, in order to slate the thirst of a hungry soul." - Johnathan Cross

So... what is love? Many might say it's a vundafull feeleeng dahling... Others might say it's a deep connection. What would you say?


Before we go any further, I'd like to clarify one thing.
LOVE IS NOT A FEELING, IT'S A COMMITMENT. You CAN feel love, but it's not a feeling. My mom loves me, but I'm sure she hasn't always felt it, like when I shattered the rear windsheild to our only car, or when I dropped my little brother on his head. She loved me, but I'm sure she wasn't feeling it at the time.


Love is a commitment. What does that mean? There are many different types of this commitment, so let's explore a few, and clarify the rest.

Being "In Love," is a Gender Commitment.
This is one step above infatuation, which is one step above lust. A Gender Commitment is the simple connection between a male member of a species, and a female member of a species. This is a bit more primal, but beyond lust. This is more of a "mate" situation, but it's not Marriage. Let's repeat that, it is not Marriage. Well, why not? Think of it this way, however the human male chooses his mate in the primal sense, he's going for what feels best. Marriage is not always about what feels best, but a dedication to a serious commitment, one we'll mention here in a moment. Husbands and Wives fall out of love on a frequent basis, and they can fall back in love as well, but this commitment is not permanent, and should not be relied upon to make decisions of any kind. It is too temporary and easy to break.

Simple love is a Family Commitment.
This type of commitment is not exclusive to members of your own blood-line. This commitment reaches to very close friends as well. They often say family is not who bore you but who raised you. This is true. I never knew my bio-father, but as far as I'm concerned, he was a donor and nothing more. The greatest father I could ever have known lives in Heaven, and calls me son. He has taught me more life lessons in living, how to be a man, how to treat a woman, and how to live my life better than any man here on the rock ever could. My best friends are my brothers and sisters, and I love my family, so I have a Family Commitment to them, and always will.

Love for things, whether ideal or physical, is an Affinity Commitment.
I love Mustangs, I love veal parmesean, I love Spongebob. Now, I personnally Like these things, but I don't have it to the extent of an Affinity Commitment. An Affinity Commitment would be a die-hard fan of the Brooklyn Dodgers, or the Boston Red Socks, or the Ford motor company (if you live down south). I love the South. That, I could say is a deep Affinity Commitment for myself, but I wouldn't die for it. I'd fight for it, but I wouldn't die for it.

Now, the deep love we all want to feel with another is a Soul Commitment.
A Soul Commitment is a dedication of your soul to the soul of another. This means that through thick and thin, better or worse, richer or poorer, etc etc, that you will always be committed to this person. You CAN have a Soul Commitment for a person and NOT want to be their mate. This would include the very, very deepest of friends, regardless of sex.
This commitment is total. This commitment lasts a lifetime, and demands a continual submission to the other's needs. This does not mean you're their servant, but this does mean you keep them the same or above yourself.

When both parties of a marriage, relationship, etc. continue to submit to each other, the marriage will always flourish. This is when the commitment, regardless of which, is kept in the forefront of your thoughts and attitudes. This keeps the other person in mind, and their best interests kept at heart. When both parties keep this on top, both parties win.

Love is an essential part of humanity. Humans needs connections to others. Each human soul is like a single flame. Without others, it will die out quickly and quietly. But when combined, it becomes a forest fire and burns brightly. The bigger the fire, the more fuel it will find.

There are more detailed envisionings of love and commitment, but these are the largest ones I can name. Just keep in mind, Love is NOT a feeling, it's a commitment. If we let our emotions rule us we would all be dead, but love goes beyond your feelings. You love your wife, and will remember to do that which she requested of you over and over again because you love her, not because you feel like it. Wives will remember to obey their husbands, not out of how they feel but because of their commitment. Such is the nature of true love. And THAT, is for another day.

Truth and Fact: Fiction nowhere in between

Fact: the raw, uncensored, pure nature of something.
Truth: the understanding of the facts, usually in connection with other facts.


Wow, that is SOOO insightful. I know I amaze myself. NOT.

Alright, let's do some of that wonderful clarifimacation I do all the time.

The facts do not speak everything. If a man shoots another, and the man that is shot dies, then the man who shot him has killed him. But is that murder? No, I think not. It is based upon the intent and situation. What is the man was aiming for another initially, but through strange happenings shot another? Or if it were in self-defense? Or in the defense of another? What is murder?

Murder, to most people I believe, is based upon the intent of the actor, not in the act. So what is the truth of the matter? The truth is in the secondary facts perpetuating the simple act.

So Bob shoots Richard while loading, both are about to go hunting. Richard dies. Did Bob murder Richard?

Richard is already shot, Bob is trying to help but Richard slits Bob's throat. Bob simply injures into death Richard, Richard murders Bob.

Truth versus fact.

Such begets the nature of how nature sits quietly. Life is the collection of facts, interpreted through understanding. God is truth. So he is more than facts, than simple nature of things.

It is always important that when life is faced, it is not faced with fact, but with truth. Do not blind yourself to it, forget it, or disregard it.

Truth should be all, and considered greatly.

-Prophet of Roses

The Marriage of Mind and Heart

Your body and spirit are built like a traditional family structure.

Your mind is the husband, your heart is the wife. Now, how is that supposed to work? I've never seen either have sex nor have children. ;) LOL Well, of course not dummy, neither of those two qualities make a marriage bad or good, they are simply accoutrements to the basic way a marriage is built.

How is that, you may ask?

In the traditional family structure, the husband is the head of the family. A wife is to be submissive to her husband. Now, having said this, let's clarify a few things.
The fact that the husband is the head of the family and final authority does not make him a blind tyrant. He has a major resonsibility to his wife to listen to her, and pay serious attention to her needs and desires. A wife is to submit to her husband, but not be a mind-numbed servant.

Here's a military visualization for you: You and your wife are both Captains in your military, but you joined before she did. Now, you have final word and the responsibility to go with it, but you would be a fool to make your decisions without consulting her; her who has different training and is far more specialized in many areas you are NOT.

So, having the final word does not mean that the husband has a greater poition than the wife, it means he has serious responsibility to take care of the wife.

So, back to my original point (Now that I've explained the basic premise of said marriage).

The mind is the husband. He must listen to the heart, but he must not be the lesser, he must be the greater. To let your heart lead your way through life, you are asking for more heart-break and dissapointment than necessary. That is not to say that you should live a cold, heartless life, but unless your head is the final authority on things, you will fall in love with many people, and find the wrong person every time.

Listen to the heart, for the heart can see things the mind cannot, such as the heart of another person. Nothing can see the nature of a person's heart better than the heart of another. So as a woman knows a woman, you should trust your heart when it comes to reading other's hearts.

However (there always is a "However"), if your heart tells you that this man/woman that you're interested in has a good heart and a desire to be good, but through your head (senses) you can easily see that this person has a problem with alcohol, drugs, sleeping around, commitment, a whole host of other things, which do you think you should listen to?

So there is no definitive way I should tell you to go. Your head will see things that your heart does not, and your heart will see things your head does not. So your decisions must be weighed properly between the two, and when one has the greater case, follow it.


AMENDMENT: (11 Apr 07)

I'd like to add one note here. While I have described the traditional, and efficient, family structure, understand that the bible does say that in God's eyes both man and woman are equal, and that both must "submit to one another." If you marry a woman and you feel God carrying your relationship with her in ways different than what I described, by all means. I'm not trying to defame women or raise men. I'm just displaying God's base plan as outlined in the Book. Paul says that something wrong for one man may not be wrong for another. Epso facto, what is right for one may not be right for another.

But in the end, regardless of how you choose to live your marriage, the husband is ultimately held responsible for how well the family performs, children are raised. So remember that as you choose your lifestyle. Either way, God will always love you.

He always has.

To Change from the Unwilling into Doers

I'm lazy, fat, and sluggish; ESPECIALLY after a good hearty meal from SONIC, a shake, and a looong lie-down on my roommates plush leather couch. Hell, I don't think anyone would want to move after that. So, in this situation, indulging occasionally is perfectly healthy. Key word, however, is occasionally. Now that we've excepted the exception, let's look at my point. *tee hee*

Life does not wait for us. God does.
Life does not love us. God does.
Life is survival of the fittest. God is the fittest who wants you to survive.
Life is cold. God is warm.
Life is always changing. God is always stable.
Life is good. God is better.

Everyone is born in sin. Whether your atheistic, paganistic, mormon, Christian or jewish, you would agree that humans are born into making mistakes; how we judge those mistakes is a definition of our different faiths. What would be the point of striving for more if the very moment you were born were the greatest moment in your life? So, we all can agree that kilargo emilio (rough Americanistic Italian spelling) "Wider is Better." No, not fat, just more.

So we all want more: to be more, to see more, to taste more, to love more, to kiss more, to get more... More more more. "And dying in your beds, many years from now, would you be willin' to trade ALL the days, from this day to that, for one chance, just one chance, to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take away our lives, but they'll never take... OUR FREEDOM! [Crowd cheers] " -- *cough* Sorry, Braveheart moment.

But after everything we gain, at the end of our lives, was it really worth it to do everything we strove so hard to do?
"I want bigger breasts than Lisa..."
"I want a bigger pay check that John."
"I want a more expensive car than Dan."
"I want more beautiful children than Tammy."
I want... I want... I want... and when you're dying in your bed, or in your overturned car, or on the bathroom floor clutching your chest...
...was having bigger breasts worth it? Was having more money than the guy you never liked worth it? Was having a more powerful Mustang than Dan's really worth it? Was the beauty of Tammy's children really worth the time you spent angry at her?

Alright, so we've pointed out some uglier sides of life. Now, how the hell do we get over it?

To point out something common to us all - we all struggle with something. It doesn't really matter what it is. Some always have a negative attitude, some are always complaining, some have problems with language, some have addictions, mental or otherwise.

So how do we surpass these addictions?

Change our thoughts and attitudes. Don't let your feelings rule your life. Feelings are like desserts - taken in moderation but not your main diet. I could go more into the feelings side of it, that but is for another day, and a different rant.

I can give you plenty of advice depending on each particular situation, but since there are too many variables to give a general outlook, I'll give you what worked for me.

Somehow, for whatever reason, however it comes, I had something within me that needed to change and God finally changed it. It had something to do with my dad; while the actual block of knowledge that changed the tide has eluded me, the fact is that my life changed when God revealed things to me and I made the full and complete commitment to giving it all to him. When that happenned, my life began changing rapidly, and still is as a matter of fact.

My advice in general, is that you find that greater-than-yourself thing in life, and focus on it. Don't let excuses, problems or stumbling blocks change your sight from your goal. When you focus on your goal, your life will streamline into a diving eagle, straight for that dream. You will naturally change yourself into becoming what you want, but your focus must be absolute and your faith total.

"A wandering man is as focused as his mind; without a focus he will remain in the wastelands of eternity without ever finding today," - Johnathan Cross.

Hating the Societal Mainstream

Who but those who step outside can find the nature of our insanities? We're all stupid and really messed up. Obvious? Definitely. Apparent? Not enough.

Alright, let's brief this out. Society today is on its own course to self destruction. Aside from the religious outcries of future Armaggeddon (which I do believe), the society itself is collapsing - just the way every society in the past has collapsed upon itself. What is the single, most solitary factor that contributes to this?

Forgetting.

Regardless of how something is forgotten, whether someone does not teach their child the lessons of yesterday or tries and fails, the new generation fails to learn from the old: they move on into newer "enlightenment" and screw everything up.

Why wouldn't parents wish to teach their children the lessons they learned? There are a few reasons.
1. Life lessons are not fully understood until they are experienced.
- This is not necessarily the best reason not to teach a child a lesson. One should teach, but still understand that it may not sink in until they DO experience it. Better to try though, than not at all.
2. The horrors the parents faced when they were younger, they do not want the younger ones to face.
- Horrors and the lessons learned from them are two separate things. Explain what you can without revisiting the horror, but if they understand the lesson, they might at least recognize the dangers of the horror when it approaches. Do not detail a rape when you can tell your daughter to always travel with a friend at night.
3. They do not think the children will understand.
- Don't expect them to be fully comprehensive, but give them the benefit of the doubt.
4. They think that the way of the younger generation is better.
- Overall, you'd be pretty stupid to believe that. We're not talking the "better" way of doing things - getting rid of slavery and separate but equal mentalities was right, not a younger thing to do. My point in that is that the youth are not our future without the solid truths from the past. A child with no-one to teach it the way will die - so will generations. If parents do not stand up and teach their children from right and wrong, then they are letting their children die.
5. They are afraid of their children.
- If you are afraid of your child, you should be slapped.
- Now, to clarify this answer, let's give exceptions. Mentally unstable children due to extenuating circumstances NOT under the parent's control do not count.
- Let's clarify it further: a poor family in a ghetto neighborhood do NOT live in extenuating circumstances to cause mental instability for a child. If they are willing to fight, their children will grow up with strong minds and a heart for values, necessary values to maintain a society.
:: A side note on this - if a parent has mistreated a child to a point where the child is mentally unstable and threatens the parent, then the parent deserves whatever the child puts upon them. It doesn't make it right, it is, however, the nature of the beast.

We must be willing to give it all to ensure our children understand not only the nature, but also the danger of the world. Embracing the world doesn't help us. Most people would agree that if they set a goal, they will never reach it, but they often come close. So, if they set higher goals, they may not reach them, but they will go higher. So we as humans, society, people - whatever, must embrace something higher than ourselves to become better in who we are and what we do.

Be it faith, a way of life, the principle is the same. I, however, will tell you straight that God created this world and that his is the only way to go. It may not be easy or always fun, but right and wrong are not ours to decide.